Sometimes I think about turning my tumblr into a daily blog of dealing with anxiety and depression in some hopes that it will help someone feel less alone or that I’ll find some solution to the way I feel and how it just constantly gets worse and worse and I don’t know who to go to or talk to because anyone I could just gets tired of hearing it. Ugh. Longest run on sentence.
I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing – their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses. To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights – then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.